Family Cookout Gifts

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"I've been practicing my sad puppy dog eyes for times like this."

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

Father at BBQ being helped by son with golf bag of utensils.

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"Come and get it!"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

Chez Nous Menu

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"Hi-yah!"

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"