Summer Cookout Gifts

'Propane ran out.'

Aprons

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

"I heard they have good food."

"He says there's a clause in the house insurance which stops him from cooking inside."

"I am still vegan, I am just having a cheat day."

"It's only the Ericksons, so why don't you just use the recalled hamburger meat."

"Anybody know how make fire?"

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

"What say we 'roshambo' for the last beer?"

'Will you get me those healthy eating booklets form the hospital? . . . I need something to start the fire to grill these bratwursts.'

"We could have saved time and just served the served the charcoal briquettes."

"Use a bit too much lighter fluid, honey?"

'Mom slipped a healthy one in so it's kind of like playing hot dog roulette.'

'John... is that a collar?'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Bring your own inflatable.

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

"I've just barbecued my head again."

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

Barbeque Casualty.

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Polygamists' Picnic

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."