Historical Pun Lover Pillows

I came, I saw, I partied!

'Putter'.

'Oh for heaven's sake, woman, can't you use a knife like everyone else?'

Moses Parting the Half-Pipe

'Yes, your majesty, all of your horses and all of your men, It's a long shot, but it might just work,'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

The First Fire Stick

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

Hunting Skool. What about your project, Oogie? The dot ate my homework.

A gift to complete the man cave.

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

"Perhaps it was too soon for a self-driving wheel."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

'And in conclusion...'

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

"Get out of the way! The transport vehicle of the future is about to overtake you! Soon everyone will have one!"

Literate Dogs.

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

Hotness

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'