Historical Joke Lover Gifts

'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Yes, all at once!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"Bonk!"

"I'd like you to see an Anthropologist.''

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

I came, I saw, I partied!

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

The Algonquin Round Table

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

The Enemy

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"