Historical Humor Seeker Gifts

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

King John

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Yes, all at once!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

Early on-line shopping

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

The Algonquin Round Table

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

The Enemy

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'Don't believe everything you read.'

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."