Historical Humor Seeker Pillows

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

King John

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

Early on-line shopping

Moses unblocking the toilet.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

The Algonquin Round Table

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

The Enemy

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'Don't believe everything you read.'