Looking for a gift that captures the eclectic spirit of the hipster colonizer? Our curated collection combines vintage-inspired designs with witty humor, making it a memorable surprise. Whether they love irony, vintage aesthetics, or making bold statements, you'll find something that speaks their language. These thoughtfully designed products are ideal for expressing their unique personality, embracing their love for all things retro, and poking fun at their adventurous, if slightly cheeky, worldview.
"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."
You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf
"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."
"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"
Joined at the hipster.
Emergency Hipster Beard
"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."
"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."
"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."
A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...
"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"
Old rocker.
"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"
"Face it, Clive - you're bald."
Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer
"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"
Spontaneous Kombucha
Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard
Your Guide to Winning Movember
Save Mars
Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.
Peak Beard/High Peak Beard
The Organic
The Inventor of the Man Bun!
"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."
"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."
"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"
"Yo, how's it swinging?"
'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'
"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."
"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."
"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."
"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."
A train's dining car is a diner.
"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"
Explore our collection of mugs crafted for the hipster colonizer. Quirky, witty, and vintage-inspired—perfect for elevating their coffee moments.
Check out our pillows with vintage-inspired prints and humorous messages. Ideal for adding personality to any space.
Discover artwork prints that showcase eclectic, vintage aesthetics with a playful flair—perfect for decorating their favorite spaces.
Browse our t-shirts featuring designs that merge retro style with sharp humor. Great for casual wear with a clever twist.