
'I came to the new world to find something...now what was it?'
Searching for a clever gift for a professional involved in colonization? Discover our range of items that blend humor with a touch of irony, perfect for colleagues, friends, or history buffs who appreciate a witty take on this complex role.
'I came to the new world to find something...now what was it?'
"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."
The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.
Colonial Larrysburg.
Save Mars
"It had to go - there were historical links with slavery."
"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."
"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"
"Ol' Boy... where the devil is Behan?"
"He's a middle-aged white man. What other reason do you need?"
"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."
Rudyard Kipling
William Bentinck
Cementing the British Presence in Egypt
Moon's Portaloo.
'I got them to agree to a small settlement.'
'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'
'The Ben Franklin? What an honor! I see your 'Poor Richard's Almanack' in bathrooms all over the place!'
"The Founding Fathers?! Ha! That’ll never stick!"
"With any luck, this mob will high-tail it back home when we tell 'em about the 14 day quarantine."
'This is the showhouse, but in fact all the units have the same imaginative use of space. '
'Okay, I'll be nice, but they'd better not stay long.'
"I'll be honest with you; I kind of hate taxation with representation, too."
"We're for calling it 'Hampton,' but they want to call it 'the Hamptons.' "
'Oh, no, Columbus - lawyers!'
"You were the one who wanted to colonize another planet."
'Just how long do you illegal aliens plan on staying in our country?'
'Oh,no, not again!'
Death of General Gordon
Plymouth Rock Long Term Parking, $1 per Day.
When Newt Colonizes the Moon...
'Banjo' Paterson & Rudyard Kipling.
"I think they're saying something about wanting to maintain the integrity of their border."
"We're looking for something in a colonial."
Elizabeth I says: 'You've named one of the American colonies after me? I can't wait to visit Betty!'
Explore our collection of mugs showing humorously detailed takes on the colonizer role—quirky gifts for those who like to laugh at history.
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Browse our range of prints that humorously or thoughtfully depict the colonizer profession—ideal for history buffs and humor lovers alike.
Discover our witty colonizer-themed t-shirts—perfect for those who enjoy making a statement with a touch of satire.