Hipster Historian Gifts

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Joined at the hipster.

Emergency Hipster Beard

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Old rocker.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Spontaneous Kombucha

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

The Organic

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

Woke Jersey Shore

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'