Hipster Historian Pillows

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Old rocker.

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

The Organic

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

Woke Jersey Shore

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'

Can I get you another coffee?