Hipster Intellectual Pillows

Woke Jersey Shore

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Old rocker.

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

The Organic

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

Gangsta wrap.

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

Hipster Police Department

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."