Hipster Philosopher Gifts

"In New York, we wouldn't call this quick."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Wifi in Hell

Joined at the hipster.

Emergency Hipster Beard

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Old rocker.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Spontaneous Kombucha

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

The Organic

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

What your guitar says about you.

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

Woke Jersey Shore

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

A train's dining car is a diner.