Hipster Culture Guru Gifts

Midtown Meta-Moment

Wifi in Hell

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Joined at the hipster.

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Old rocker.

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Spontaneous Kombucha

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

The Organic

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

Woke Jersey Shore

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

A train's dining car is a diner.

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"I'm your hip replacement."

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'

Can I get you another coffee?

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."