Hiding Behind The Sofa Expert Gifts

"Sure they're dead and walking around, but a few of them are still shopping."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"The couch hates me Jane!"

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

Kid's Driving You Crazy?

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"I find a good way to avoid stress is to close the curtains, climb into bed, and pull the covers over my head."

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

"I was thinking we might staycation on the sofa."

Chillaxing!

'We've found it Chandler- The forbidden temple!'

'When we got married, I said I'd move mountains for you...I never said anything about a sofa!'

"It might be this Christmas, it might be next."

I'd say you've got assertivity issues

Will assuage guilt for money.

Sofa Sale: 'I like this sofa - I'll take it.'

"Why am I flicking channels? Every channel's the sloth channel."

"I'm not so sure anymore where the sofa ends and you begin."

"I'm looking for an arrangement that says, 'Sorry about the sofa.'"

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

"20 years ago we were disappointed much faster..."

"OK, I'll let you in, but remember: If you scratch it, you buy it!"

'It didn't take HIM long to feel at home!'

"Technically I have managed to get that big old sofa out the door..."

'Of course there's a solution - buy a three seater settee.'

"I'm so special that I even get my very own blanket for the sofa."

'He made that sofa himself, the last thing he ever made!'

The problem is not in your set or at the station. That leaves only you, doesn't it?