Hidden Fee Hater Gifts

'How did I become Vice-President? You ask...I came up with the logest list of fees to charge bank customers.'

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

"I hate hibernating! All our devices need updating. And now we need to go through a thousand phone and text messages."

'We take late returns very seriously at this library Mr Wilson!'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

Man looking at the cartes de visite of the lawyers in chancery lane

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

Burning and Rotting In Hell Desk Organisers

Stealth Taxman

'What do our service charges cover? -- people who ask too many questions!'

'This isn't a flow chart. It's our fee structure!'

'Yes, we offer no-fee checking accounts. For a small fee.'

Airline Charges

"Don't worry...with his swing, this is the safest place to stand."

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

"...And as for cards, I've no intention of pouring more money into the capitalists machine, of becoming a dupe of the marketing men!"

"Go on. It's just a formality."

"Thank you Madam. That will be £5000 plus 5p for the bag, of course..."

"Your ticket was $340, but the flight is extra."

Everyone smile and say FEES

'Since you just came in to say hello, there'll only be a nominal service charge.'

"This charge is for your monthly service fee and this charge is because you didn't have it."

Pay Inactivity Fee $20.

"Gawd, I hate these water hazards!!"

"There were only two things about Bryan that I simply could not stand - his breathing and is chewing."

"Can you throw this away for me?"

'Just give me the ten bucks and look at it as another surcharge.'

Bag Men

"We'll take $10 off the monthly charge, but we reserve the right to slip it back in when you're not looking."