Hermit Humorist Gifts

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Gregor Samsa III, who doesn't go out much, calls in a large order to the shopping channel.

Homeworking has really been the death of the office party, what do you think?

'Don't be paranoid, Brother Jerome -- Why would they be talking about you?'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"On your left."

OM, SWEET OM

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

'Today's entrees are the Breast with Thyme, and the Wurst with Thyme.'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

"The meaning of life! Have you tried Googling it?"

"Free why-fi.”

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

Buy one enlightenment get one free.

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

'One of us will tell you how to achieve peace and harmony just as soon as we settle who called dibs on this ledge.'

'Hey! - Do I have to separate you two?'