Hermit Humorist Pillows

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Gregor Samsa III, who doesn't go out much, calls in a large order to the shopping channel.

Homeworking has really been the death of the office party, what do you think?

'Don't be paranoid, Brother Jerome -- Why would they be talking about you?'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"On your left."

OM, SWEET OM

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

'Today's entrees are the Breast with Thyme, and the Wurst with Thyme.'

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

"Free why-fi.”

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

Buy one enlightenment get one free.

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

"Actually, I just came up here to get away from leading economic indicators."

'Enlightenment does that to some people.'

'Hey! - Do I have to separate you two?'