Humorist Hermit Pillows

"The universal remote. That's how God rules the universe."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

OM, SWEET OM

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

"That's the worst case of Cabin Fever that I've ever seen. Luckily, spring is right around the corner."

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

"Free why-fi.”

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

Buy one enlightenment get one free.

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

'Hey! - Do I have to separate you two?'

"Actually, I just came up here to get away from leading economic indicators."

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'

'Enlightenment does that to some people.'

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'