Humorist Hermit Gifts

"The universal remote. That's how God rules the universe."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

OM, SWEET OM

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

"That's the worst case of Cabin Fever that I've ever seen. Luckily, spring is right around the corner."

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

"The meaning of life! Have you tried Googling it?"

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

"Free why-fi.”

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Buy one enlightenment get one free.

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

'Hey! - Do I have to separate you two?'

"Actually, I just came up here to get away from leading economic indicators."

'One of us will tell you how to achieve peace and harmony just as soon as we settle who called dibs on this ledge.'

'Enlightenment does that to some people.'

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'