Herbalist Humorist Gifts

Modern Witch Shoppe

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

Medicinal plants

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

"What are you in for?"

'So much for talking to plants. I distinctly heard it tell me to shut up!'

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Bonsai Exhibit

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

'Today's entrees are the Breast with Thyme, and the Wurst with Thyme.'

Cover story: Plant World.

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

'What do you mean the FDA is going to start regulating the use of eyes of Newts?'

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

Hose and Flower in Perfect Harmony.

"Your roots are showing."

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

"What you smell son is called a cigarette: A sure sign that humans are around and we should flee..."