Hen Humor Fan Pillows

"Remember – not all of them become chickens."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

The Brothers Grime

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'Yes, can I help you?'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

A Golden Non-Retriever

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

Beer Parasol.

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Tequila Mockingbird

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'