Hen-house Humor Pillows

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'Careful, it's not politically correct to say I rule the roost anymore...'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

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'A new concept. The inside out house.'

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

"Maybe Dracula wasn't the best one to try this new detergent."

Rational explanations

Ice Fishing

Affordable housing

Valentines for Real Estate

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

Vine-Gripened Tomatoes

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.

"...P.S. Stay off the furniture!"

'Beats me why I took this place. No en-suite, no walk-in robe and no dining room!'

"This article says girls will come and go...but family give us unconditional love and will always be there."

"I'll carry you over a regular threshold, darling, as soon as the housing market improves."

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

Estate Agents.

'I see this one is detached. Yes, the ones on either side fell down.'

'...There's been a 20% rise in the length of time our house been on the market'

"Were you aware you'll need to sign over your wife & kids as collateral in order to secure this property?"

Do you know why the kitchen ceiling is dripping?

"Honest dear, those other 39 hens don't mean a thing to me!"

'I can't wait to tell the vet what a great mouser you are.'

"But what's really special about this place is that there is not even the faintest hint of Kirstie Allsopp."