Heroic Humor Fan Pillows

'Fighting evil, fighting evil, fighting evil...oh, wait, how about the 17th, say noonish?'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

10 K Tail-Chase

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Trump Poutine

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

The Snooze Bar.

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Winter Weather.

Tequila Mockingbird

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

No, I don

'More government surveillance!'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'