Heroic Humor Fan T-Shirts

'Fighting evil, fighting evil, fighting evil...oh, wait, how about the 17th, say noonish?'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Trump Poutine

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

A Golden Non-Retriever

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Beer Parasol.

Winter Weather.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Tequila Mockingbird

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'More government surveillance!'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."