Humor Fanatic T-Shirts

'You've a Thames Water variant of water retention.'

"We've got a self-driving car, a self-cleaning kitchen and a self-hating narcissist."

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

Gravestone Epitaph - 'One surreal gag too far.'

Humps ahead.

Allegator in the Waiting Room

'I'm going downtown -- can I swipe you anything?'

'I always carry my hammer, incase we're shipwrecked, and I need it to crack coconuts.'

"It's just a name, I'm not religious at all, though, to be truthful, I would have a few things to confess..."

"What has four legs and feathers?"

"He's a cross between a great dane and a bicycle pump. . . and really puts the wind up the postman."

"And I bet it's the hottest summer since records began back home."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Cariactures

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Do Not Resuscitate

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry