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Scaring the hunter.

Guy lost in the desert, sign says, You DEFINITELY Aren't Here!!

'You deducted whoopie cushions as a business expense Just what kind of business are you in, Mr, Quincy'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

"I think you've got the wrong idea about going Dutch!"

'Don't be a sissy - It's not that cold!'

Stage hand has cigars ready.

"Oh there, you are - I just spent three hours talking to a sheet draped over a chair."

Old lady trapped between shopping trolleys.

'...on second thought, maybe you're right...'

'It's ok! He's just practicing for his next movie role...'

"Who's a good boy? Are you a good boy?"

"The patient you're treating for chronic shoplifting is here."

Ronnie Barker

"Who's been a naughty boy then?"

The 3 Stooges of Man

'She tried to become famous on TV, but it was a total disaster - that's how she became so famous.'

'You're in a red state now, pal!'

House Clearance co.

Sleeping dummy.

Stephen Harper at the Improv.

'Wow! My whole life just passed before me.'

Spider in the theatre.

"If the truth be known there are a few of us that ought to be harpooned."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

Jeffrey Tambor

Pet Shop Going Out Of Business

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Why do they do that?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."