Heavenly Humor Fan Pillows

"Sorry for the racket... there are billions of dogs up here, and they get a little excited when someone's at the gate."

Why it takes longer for lawyers to get in: 'This would go a lot faster if you'd stop saying, 'alleged'...'

'Ocean view, or would you prefer to watch them fight over the will?'

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"That's one thing you can't get up here, a good hot curry."

"A little to the left, a bit more. . . Bingo! That's where my ex lives."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Poor Fred -- he thought he'd get his hair back.'

And on the seventh day He rested

"They said you can't take it with you. . . and you believed them?"

'We're sending you back so that you can pay off your student loans.'

Angel Basketball

"I hate that they never know what hit them."

"I don't know what you are either. I'll just write 'small brown bird'."

'I have come to say we love you all and want you all to succeed. Wait! . . . Wrong locker room. My bad.'

Man at Heavens gate looking at a sign that says "No Selfies"

'Poor Fred -- he thought he'd get his hair back.'

'No kidding? You're really St. Paul? -- I'm from St. Paul!'

Home is where the Harp is.

'Express Line, Ten sins or less'

"Oh, yes, he's bad. But in a good way."

'I figured that, in paradise, the girls would wear SHORT stuff.'

"I didn't expect them to be so lumpy."

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"I didn't expect to hear that sort of thing here!"

"No need to log out...you already have."

'Well, yeah, they're nice...but I kind of figured that we grew them when we got up here?'

'Will you just relax and forget about whether or not you left the coffeemaker on?'

'you lived paycheck to paycheck. Well, the buck stops here.'

"It's not my imagination, you are putting on weight, Fiona."

'This is awkward, Lucifer has friended us on facebook.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"I never thought we would be affected by rising sea levels."

"It's not my fault I got the Ten Commandments and the Seven Deadly Sins mixed up!"