Heavenly Humor Fan T-Shirts

"Sorry for the racket... there are billions of dogs up here, and they get a little excited when someone's at the gate."

Why it takes longer for lawyers to get in: 'This would go a lot faster if you'd stop saying, 'alleged'...'

'Ocean view, or would you prefer to watch them fight over the will?'

"That's one thing you can't get up here, a good hot curry."

"A little to the left, a bit more. . . Bingo! That's where my ex lives."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Poor Fred -- he thought he'd get his hair back.'

'We're sending you back so that you can pay off your student loans.'

Angel Basketball

"I hate that they never know what hit them."

"I don't know what you are either. I'll just write 'small brown bird'."

'I have come to say we love you all and want you all to succeed. Wait! . . . Wrong locker room. My bad.'

Man at Heavens gate looking at a sign that says "No Selfies"

'Poor Fred -- he thought he'd get his hair back.'

'No kidding? You're really St. Paul? -- I'm from St. Paul!'

'Express Line, Ten sins or less'

"Oh, yes, he's bad. But in a good way."

'I figured that, in paradise, the girls would wear SHORT stuff.'

"I didn't expect them to be so lumpy."

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"I didn't expect to hear that sort of thing here!"

"No need to log out...you already have."

'Well, yeah, they're nice...but I kind of figured that we grew them when we got up here?'

'you lived paycheck to paycheck. Well, the buck stops here.'

"It's not my imagination, you are putting on weight, Fiona."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"I never thought we would be affected by rising sea levels."

"It's not my fault I got the Ten Commandments and the Seven Deadly Sins mixed up!"

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

'10 out of 10 for perseverance, but who needs a policy up here?'

"The clouds of heaven have a load limit of 65 KG! Everyone over the load limit sinks down to Hell! 65,3 KG! You should not have eaten that last cake!"

"Some guy brought me this little origami angel. I think it was a bribe, but it's cute."

Emptying the Bin

"That's the first time I've heard 'My Way' played on a harp."

"OK, fine. I'll use one of yours."