Heaven Humor Fan Pillows

'We sent you THREE warning lightening bolts to get off the course, but you kept playing...'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"We only got six days of funding."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"It's true: no more burpees."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

The Adventures of God

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

Local News in Heaven