Heir Raiser Gifts

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

Not you. Your hair.

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

Hug Your Boss (Use the Opportunity for the Power of Suggestion).

"I brought you up here today, son, because I wanted you to get a feel for the scope of this damned thing."

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'Someday, son, all this will be yours...' 'In the meantime...'

Army Barracks

"It's meatloaf. We didn't make our Kickstarter goal for steak."

'Took longer than I thought it would.'

'These photos are ruined... Not one of us has red-eye!'

"I agree you're due for a raise, and when you leave my office, you'll still be due for a raise!"

'One day this will all be...' 'Just die already!'

'All the demons chipped in to get Satan a gag gift for his birthday.'

'For your superb management of hell on earth."

'Five minutes, Jean-Paul.'

Army Promotions Board. You need to select one of these contenders for promotion to lieutenant colonet. It's like being in college. I have to pick a major.

'The boss will like this. Your resume says you misappropriated funds from the Acme Corp., our chief competitor.'

'Yes dad, I'll take an interest in the company - how does 50% sound?'

'I need another raise so I can pay for the car that I bought to celebrate my last raise.'

"Someday, barring a leveraged buy-out, a hostile takeover, or a substantial increase in estate taxes, this will all be yours."

Born To Raise Consciousness

Mechanic working on a hearse flees from falling skull

'I'm sorely tempted to give him a piece of my mind, but I suspect he's the one tempting me.'

"Quit pulling the damn fire alarm."

'I know there's no sunshine down here, but I bet we still get good vitamin D from the flames.'

'Millionaires Club - Self-Made - Inherited'

Please stand by...for view.

I believed he started on the shop floor.

'That elusive fifth star...'

"Todd has been an eager participant in our sex-education program."