Hellraisers Gifts

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Not you. Your hair.

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

'What do you mean, you can't get it to light?'

Why do they prefer a pitcher to a belly itcher? Everyone loves a belly itcher!

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'Took longer than I thought it would.'

'On a more positive note, your hot flashes will seem relatively cool.'

'I warned: Play a sloppy game and, come Monday, there will be hell to pay during practice.'

Devil with Fire and Brimstone In-Trays.

Forget about the college basketball tourney, endless drilling in 100-degree summer heat is the real "march madness."

'These photos are ruined... Not one of us has red-eye!'

'Don't get me wrong - hell is awful, but it could be so much more hellish. We have much to learn from them.'

"Well, I've finally gotten out of the office."

"Are you a platinum card member?"

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

Just when he thought things couldn't get worse...

"Don't tell me to chill out!"

'Five minutes, Jean-Paul.'

'All the demons chipped in to get Satan a gag gift for his birthday.'

'For your superb management of hell on earth."

"Yeah, its warm..."

"Wait a minute ... this isn't my timeshare!"

"Quit pulling the damn fire alarm."

The devil makes work for idle hands...

'I know there's no sunshine down here, but I bet we still get good vitamin D from the flames.'

"Ok, first the good news..."

'I'm sorely tempted to give him a piece of my mind, but I suspect he's the one tempting me.'

The Desert Thong

Exhausted men - steep hill 1 in 3

"It's not the heat or the humidity. It's the self-recrimination over not finding a way to get out of the city this summer."

'So the age of light touch regulation really is over.'

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'