Hellraiser Gifts

'Took longer than I thought it would.'

'For your superb management of hell on earth."

'All the demons chipped in to get Satan a gag gift for his birthday.'

'I know there's no sunshine down here, but I bet we still get good vitamin D from the flames.'

'These photos are ruined... Not one of us has red-eye!'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Man fishing with large bait

Not you. Your hair.

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

"A great quarter always puts the old man in a jocular mood."

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

Pandora's Change Purse...

'I'm feeling so good, I'm worried I may catch some uplift anxiety.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

Morning and Afternoon Paintings

Clown walks balloon dog

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

Crane fishing

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

"I'm down here, Mona. That's your slipper."

"We always have pizza for Easter dinner because that's what my mom gives up for Lent."

Conga train chasing a man at a party.

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

'What do you mean, you can't get it to light?'

'Hakendorf is our work horse, and he can pull his weight with the best of them.'

'No, that isn't my slippers either! Try again.'