Hell Hiker Gifts

"I think the main attraction down here is it's marvellous for pot holing."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

Sport Utility Boot.

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"I love the things I say when I’m in nature."

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

"It's the adorable snowman!"

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

"Just lemme finish my coffee."

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

"You've got a friend in me."

Large bird chases bird watcher up a hill.

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

"I see you've come a long way, Perkins."

"Write your acceptance speech before winning the award."

"Nature can be cruel, but occasionally there are instances of great compassion."

"I told you it was a universal truth."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

Bear Recycling.

'Too proud to wear glasses, Bob gets what's coming to him.'

'It's no use. Even the mountains remind me of the office.'

Wild, Wacky, Wild and Wacky

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

"No, I don't have any weed."