Ironic Hell-goer Gifts

"I can take the heat ... I worked in investment banking."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"From this you make a living?"

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

Hellbillies.

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

Special Place in Hell...

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'On a more positive note, your hot flashes will seem relatively cool.'

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

Devil with Fire and Brimstone In-Trays.

'It's another 'Wish you were here' postcard from my friend in Hell.'

Burning and Rotting In Hell Desk Organisers

'I'm afraid you're going to have to stay with us for a thousand years, but your sins are tax-deductible.'

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"

"As you can see, this front will continue for quite some time."

'Five minutes, Jean-Paul.'

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

"Wait a minute ... this isn't my timeshare!"

The devil makes work for idle hands...

Angel Puppet.

'So where are you going?'