Hitchhiker Gifts

"Vegas"

'You've got a dog? Great, hop in! I've got rice!'

Cowboy hitchhiker holds sign which reads; Out of town by sun up.

Others using steroids: Hitchikers enlarge thumbs, talkshow hosts enlarge chins, Liquidators enlarged wallets.

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

"I love the things I say when I’m in nature."

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

"It's the adorable snowman!"

Anywhere but here

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

"Just lemme finish my coffee."

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

Large bird chases bird watcher up a hill.

"You've got a friend in me."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

"I see you've come a long way, Perkins."

"Write your acceptance speech before winning the award."

"Nature can be cruel, but occasionally there are instances of great compassion."

"I told you it was a universal truth."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

Bear Recycling.

'Too proud to wear glasses, Bob gets what's coming to him.'

Wild, Wacky, Wild and Wacky

"No, I don't have any weed."