Heir Gifts

'One day this will all be...' 'Just die already!'

'Millionaires Club - Self-Made - Inherited'

'Someday, Son, you'll probably reject all this.'

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

'Someday, son, all this will be yours...' 'In the meantime...'

Shepherd and eurydice

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Butterfly Woman

Larry's used art

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"We've made great progress!"

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

International Women's Day

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Talk nerdy to me."

Demure lady with gloves

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Lady of the Cake.

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."