Child Raisers Gifts

"Todd has been an eager participant in our sex-education program."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Grounded

Not you. Your hair.

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

"He looks just like your husband."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'It's a chicken.'

"At least she's reading."

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

"Act your birth order!"

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

"I haven't been in a playpen yet that could hold me."

'Go forth and multiply!'

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

'He looks a bit like both of you.'

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

''D' is for 'Despair'; 'E' is for 'Exhaustion'.'

"Early Father's Day Gift!"

Responsibility

"Good news. Your child buys into the change paradigm of growing up."

Teach Love