Whimsical Child-rearers Gifts

'Why don't you just admit it? You only wanted children as a substitute for not having any pets.'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

Late BroomStick

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Baby Hairstyles.

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?

"It's only the wind."

"Jim was a model Dad".

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to defend their pail of water."

"You're right. This is better than sex."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

"Miss Robinson, do I need any wishes?"

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."

"Yeah, you were Tolkein in your sleep. . ."

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

Non-working dog, please help

'Don't worry he doesn't want any. he's allergic to everything except straw stuffing.'

'Can I keep him? He followed me home.'

"I'm training him to do chores."

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

Visit the Geek islands.

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

"Till death do us part? Does that mean by natural causes, or would an accident count?"

Ghost Playing Cello

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice and the Black Kitten.

Christmas Hat Tree

"So I start thinking...who needs to migrate north? I'm spending the summer down here!"

The Hydro-Multi-Aeroplane

Kangaroo with multiple pockets for lots of children...