Whimsical Child-rearers Gifts

'Why don't you just admit it? You only wanted children as a substitute for not having any pets.'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

Late BroomStick

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Baby Hairstyles.

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

"It's only the wind."

"Jim was a model Dad".

"You're right. This is better than sex."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to defend their pail of water."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

"Miss Robinson, do I need any wishes?"

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"

"Yeah, you were Tolkein in your sleep. . ."

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

Non-working dog, please help

"I'm training him to do chores."

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

Visit the Geek islands.

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

'Can I keep him? He followed me home.'

'Don't worry he doesn't want any. he's allergic to everything except straw stuffing.'

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

"Till death do us part? Does that mean by natural causes, or would an accident count?"

Christmas Hat Tree

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice and the Black Kitten.

Ghost Playing Cello

"So I start thinking...who needs to migrate north? I'm spending the summer down here!"

Cow and Pig leave for school.

'Daddy says 'meow'.'