Whimsical Parent-to-be Gifts

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

Baby Hairstyles.

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

In the DNA Kitchen

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"They look so young and helpless."

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

Fat Kid 3- Pet slug runs amok (colour)

"So! When's the big day?"

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

Daisy Diaper Service

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

Olga's Biological Clocks.

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

"It's only the wind."

"She keeps shouting, 'couldn't, didn't, can't'."

Baby Footballer

"Jim was a model Dad".

Ginger hair

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

'At this rate nine months is going to take forever.'

Womb for Kids

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

'Sometimes I think you'll be sorry when the baby gets here.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

Non-working dog, please help