Childraising Gifts

'Please turn it down - Daddy is trying to do your homework.'

"Mommy you're perfect!"

City Zoo: Day Care

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

In the Guru District

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Madonna of the Pukes.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

The Baby Walker

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"The first one's just a warning."

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!