Childraising Gifts

'Please turn it down - Daddy is trying to do your homework.'

"Mommy you're perfect!"

City Zoo: Day Care

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

In the Guru District

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"The first one's just a warning."

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!