Child Raising Gifts

"What part of this don't you understand?"

'That may be true but it's definitely the best place in the world to perpetuate the myth that it's still the best place in the world to bring up children.'

"My kids understand me. I've offered them the same disadvantages I grew up with."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

The Art Student.

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Bond James, Bond."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"Just be yourself."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Computer Room.

Polly txt speak

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

At the Museum

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'