Heat Humorist Gifts

'At least it's a dry heat'

'No wonder it's so warm! Someone's been messing with the thermostat again!'

Hell's fan...

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Global Warmer 2000.

Shaved Ice

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

Titanic iceberg auction

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

Indian summer.

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

"It's so warm that I'm laying hard boiled eggs."

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

'I swear it wasn't this cold before they invented the wind chill factor.'

How You Know It's Spring...

"It was the hottest earth day since records began."

Intense summer sun

'Don't they look silly?'

"These desert mirages are virtually like being at the beach."

Steak Lovers.

"It's the worst summer I've ever known."

Gatorade!

'Say, Fred...'

"How did you find the weather on your holiday?"

'Don't worry! They're vegetarian!'

Global Forecasting Institute

Vine-Gripened Tomatoes

'Tragically, all the king's horses and all the kings men couldn't put him back together again. And, in today's weather, it's hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk out there!'

Environmental Clues

"You think we like these extra playoff rounds?"

'Is this the way to the beach?'