Hat Humorist Gifts

Fears

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Football Chameleon

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

Ed's receding hairline!

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'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Bald Man Overcomb

'He's wearing a toupee.'

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

'Just a trim for me thanks.'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

"Hallelujah!"

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

"It's obviously an original."