Ham Humorist Gifts

"Hallelujah!"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Any questions?"

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Football Chameleon

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'