Hamster Humorists Gifts

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

Emergency Hipster Beard

No Soliciting

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'

Ed's receding hairline!

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

Bald Man Overcomb

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I didn't know which one to cross."

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

Gangsta wrap.

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Hipster Police Department

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"Hallelujah!"

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

Saggy Boobs Make Great Bungee Ropes for Bored Hamsters.

'Just a trim for me thanks.'

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."