Hamster Humorists Gifts

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

Emergency Hipster Beard

No Soliciting

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'

Not you. Your hair.

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Ed's receding hairline!

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

Bald Man Overcomb

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I didn't know which one to cross."

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Gangsta wrap.

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"Hallelujah!"

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

'Just a trim for me thanks.'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

'Bad news! We're hamsters!'

Hipster Police Department