Hustler Humorist Gifts

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

'Where's my horse?'

A Semicolon.

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

It's much easier on my knees.

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

'You're being ridiculous, Bob - I have NOT been ogling the 12 point buck!'

Shakespeare in the Industrial Park

Smiley

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

'I think the new exercise ball we got the hamster is too big...'

'I just find it interesting. You remember everything except where your dirty clothes go.'

"Look! He's found my scent!"

Bit on the Side

'As if I didn't already have enough cleaning and sewing to do, the big galoot goes and invents COOKING!'

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth