Hustler Humorist T-Shirts

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'Where's my horse?'

A Semicolon.

Inappropriate horse whispering.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Smiley

'You're being ridiculous, Bob - I have NOT been ogling the 12 point buck!'

Shakespeare in the Industrial Park

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

"Look! He's found my scent!"

'I just find it interesting. You remember everything except where your dirty clothes go.'

'I think the new exercise ball we got the hamster is too big...'

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

"Ask me about my long face."