Hustler Humor Gifts

Last investor in pyramid scheme

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

A Semicolon.

'I really don't care about your work/life balance.'

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

"It's thrilling to watch them come out in the morning, ready for the kill!"

'...Because its easy to draw.'

"I don't want it to look like I don't appreciate your qualifications and experience, but you're talking a lot of crap."

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

"My exercise routine appears to be working as long as I hang around fat people."

Peddler selling directory of street peddlers.

Man motivated by money, rabbit motivated by carrot.

Stamp collector with a magnifying glass (colour).

'Hard Day?'

Ok, Rob. We'll get right on it. That was the third neighbor grousing about our yard. It's the natural look. Not in this ecosystem.

Maternity Ward Door Sign - 'Push, push, push'

Son, if you fall off a horse get right back on, ride to a lawyer and sue the stable.

"I guess I shouldn't complain. At least he has steady work."

We hire only courteous drivers (A few may be rather stand-offish and some are kind of moody, but they're polite).

Man on stilts faces horse and rider on stilts

"He's in charge of mowing... I mainly fertilize."

"At this stage of your life, you need a hobby - one that will produce income."

"Mom says if life gives you lemons...go out and make a few bucks!"

"In days gone by the village blacksmith was often called upon to shoo horses."

'Damn whizz kids!'

Movers. Shakers.

Man selling get-rich-quick schemes for $10,000 each.