Hazmat Humorists Gifts

Man disposes of baby's nappy in a toxin waste bin.

"I'm not wearing any underwear."

'You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor and Walter just isn't taking any chances.'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

"On your left."

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

Basketball injuries.

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

"Hallelujah!"

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

'Your mom too? Always saying, 'You never do anything constructive.''

'It's a gadget for buying gadgets over the net.'

"Lucky you were wearing your hard-hat!"

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

It's much easier on my knees.

It's "Wolverines Without Borders" ... They want you to perform classic Fusco material in developing countries where people don't have access to the comics.

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

Radioactive Pizza

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

"Oh really, Gerald! You're removing honey from the hives, not plutonium!"

"You know, Burkhart, if you're so damn afraid of the flu maybe you should just stay home."

'Another failure to communicate?'

'I think the new exercise ball we got the hamster is too big...'

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

Gavel me once, shame on you; gavel me twice, shame on me.

'Just because I understand how to maintain the Heating and Cooling systems in the world's biggest buildings doesn't mean I understand the tax code.'

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

'The developers of this flu vaccine can't explain it, but its only side effect is that it may cause your HVAC system to go hay wire for a bit.'

'At least it's a dry heat'