Heat Humorists Gifts

SPF-30 Sunscreen Lotion

Football Chameleon

Global Warmer 2000.

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

Shaved Ice

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

Titanic iceberg auction

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

Murphy bed...Murphy.

Indian summer.

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"It's so warm that I'm laying hard boiled eggs."

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

Another thing is that it's really cool in the summer!

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

Hades Weather Channel. Tomorrow will continue gloomy with lots of scattered firestorms and high pressure fronts. And, as always, an infinitesimal chance of freezing over.

"Money or your beard!"

Do not feed the bears. But you can contribute to our Kickstarter fund.

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

Giraffe painter.

'Don't they look silly?'

Intense summer sun

"These desert mirages are virtually like being at the beach."

"It was the hottest earth day since records began."

Sheepdog

"It's the worst summer I've ever known."

Born Cynical,,,,

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.

'Jill, come take a look at Mr. Bolinder's EKG!'